Boundaries: It’s Time To Stop Dancing With Dysfunction

Looking for a way to get the group talking? Try one of these conversation starters.

How would you define being on time? Are you an “arrive 10 minutes early” person, or are you an “arrive right on time” person?
It was Pastor Steven’s birthday this weekend! Go around and have everyone share when their birthdays are and a favorite birthday memory.

Help transition the group to the discussion with one of these questions.

Select 1-2 themes from the sermon to discuss with your eGroup.

Read Genesis 1:4 and Genesis 2:17. Lysa taught us how God used boundaries to reserve the highest access. This started at creation, and continued to the Temple (the Holy of Holies). The greater the responsibility, the greater the access.
- What was your first response when Lysa shared she would be talking about boundaries? How does this concept of responsibility and access help you view healthy boundaries?
- Share some examples of both healthy and unhealthy boundaries you’ve seen or experienced?
- Are there relationships in your life where the access and responsibility ratio is not equal? What would it practically look like for you to set a personal boundary on yourself, instead of on other people?

Lysa taught us this tip for setting healthy boundaries: “While my heart says ‘yes,’ the reality of my time says ‘no.’” Is there an area of your life right now that is asking for something you don’t have capacity for? How can you lovingly set boundaries in that area?
We all have limited capacity. When we forget about our limitations and live like we have unlimited capacity, we run the risk of going “bankrupt” in those areas of our lives. “We’re limited because we’re human, not because we’re selfish.” God calls us to be good stewards of all of our resources, not just our finances.
- Share by filling in the blank with your eGroup, “When I am at my best, I am_____. When my capacity is depleted, I am_____.”
- What areas do you tend to bankrupt your capacity, and how can you put boundaries in place in that area? (i.e., finances, time, energy, etc.)
- What resources do you feel like you steward well? What resources do you feel like God is asking you to put a tighter boundary on in this season?

“We will always desperately want from other people what we fear God will not provide.” Sometimes one of the hardest parts of drawing boundaries with others is fearing what will be taken away once we put that boundary in place. Thankfully, God knows everything and has everything we could ever need.
- Share a time you’ve looked to someone else to meet a need or fulfill you in a way only God can.
- What evidence have you seen in your life that confirms that God knows what you need and provides you with everything you need?
- What’s something you’re looking to find in someone else that you can begin looking for in God? What practical steps can you take to start looking to God for it instead?

Challenge your group to keep activating their faith. Make this a part of your eGroup time or send this activity to them after you meet.
Lysa shared an activity she does as a way to remind herself how important it is to keep healthy boundaries. On one page she wrote out character traits about herself when she’s keeping healthy boundaries and at her best. On another page, she wrote out character traits about herself when she’s not keeping healthy boundaries and feels drained. Let’s do the same thing. On a piece of paper or on your phone, write out who you are and how you act when you have healthy boundaries and are living within your capacity. On the other side (or down below), write out who you are and how you act when you’ve extended past your limitations and boundaries are not in place.
Let these lists serve as a reminder that boundaries are good and from God. God wants us operating within our limitations and boundaries because He knows that’s where true freedom is found.
Close this time by praying over what you wrote. Pray that God will give you His guidance and strength to set the boundaries you need in order to live in His freedom.

Close out your group with prayer using one of these options

An Interactive Prayer
- Get into smaller groups and share areas where you feel God is calling you to set up a boundary. Pray for God’s guidance and help in these areas for one another.
A Guided Prayer
- Dear God, thank you for knowing what’s best for me. Thank you for seeing every need and desire of mine. Help me keep my eyes fixed on you. Show me areas where I need to place healthy boundaries in a loving way. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Want to help your group go deeper after you meet? Send them one of these resources that relates to the sermon topic.

Listen to “Jireh” by Elevation Worship and Maverick City as a reminder that God is enough.
Watch the sermon “Fix Your Focus” to learn how to put your focus in the right place regarding relationships.