What’s something you were told a lot growing up? (e.g., stop talking so much, pay attention, turn the TV off/down, don’t eat so much candy, be quiet, etc.)
Holly is uncomfortable with silence. Share your go-to when you need some background noise. (e.g., music, talking, TV, a fan, a noise machine, etc.)
What’s your response when someone is talking too much and you wish they’d stop talking? Do you: ask them to be quiet; start talking over them; stay silent and wait for them to finish; or stare at them and hope they take the hint?
Ask eGroup members to share their favorite points from the sermon, what spoke to them, a phrase or moment from the sermon they related to the most, or questions they have. If members have a hard time recalling the sermon, talk through your notes and share your favorite points.
Make It Personal
Words hold weight. On a scale of 1-10, how careful are you about what you say? Are you good about recognizing harmful speech in your own life?
Read Philippians 2:14-16. Which is hardest for you not to do: complain, argue, or shout?
What are you most likely to complain about? Why? (Who are some people you regularly complain to? Are they the right people to complain to? How can you ask them to help you be aware of your words and flip your perspective?) (Holly reminded us of the previous weekend when Pastor Steven encouraged us not to complain to people who can’t solve our problems.)
Who are you most likely to argue with? (Who knows how to push your buttons?) Are you more likely to try and win the argument or try to keep the relationship strong?
When are you most likely to shout? What makes you feel the need to shout?
Holly said, “Questions create access, but accusations close hearts.” We have to learn to ask good questions. What does it mean to ask good questions? (What are some challenges you face with that?) How can you use this strategy to help you improve a relationship in your life?
Read Daniel 12:3. The way to redirect someone is not to shout, but to shine. What are some ways we can shine? (e.g., refuse to dwell on the negative, let go of the need to be right, hold firm to God’s Word, show patience and grace whenever possible, volunteer to help those in need, etc.) Which of those is easiest/hardest for you?
Where is your biggest opportunity to influence people by how you live?
Act On It
Pick a strategy for how you want to shine this week. You can use one of the examples below.
I’m going to do my best to not complain by _________.
I’m going to show patience and grace when I feel like arguing by _________.
I’m going to pay more attention to what I say and how I say it by _________.
I’m going to build someone up in my life by telling them __________.
Prayer Requests And Prayer
Ask eGroup members to share any prayer requests they have. Record any notes or prayer requests to pray for members during the week.Father, thank You for the opportunities You give us to be a positive influence on others. Make us mindful this week of how what we say, what we don’t say, and how we act can bring someone closer to You. In Jesus’ name, amen.